Get my latest blog post direct to your inbox every week!


01908 511 062


90% of training is lost without practice, so why waste your money on training that just doesn't stick?

Who Are You Spending Time With?

Hope they're worth it ...

Click here to view a mobile version of this blog post  


It's the beginning of a new decade and I don't know about you, but I felt it was time to stop and think about my life and what is important to me. I realised the people we spend time with can have a huge effect on our motivation, attitude and mindset ...

Who are you spending time with? It's worth thinking about!

Who are you spending time with? It's worth thinking about!

copyright: varunalight / 123rf

These people can inspire and galvanize us; equally, they can bring us down and suck our energy. I have a fair few energy suckers in my life and its time to get rid of them. I created the following short quiz and model for my new book BEING HUMAN (coming out this summer) and thought it was the perfect time to share it.

"I did this myself and it was very
insightful so give it a go!"

So firstly, list 8/10 people (not your immediate family) you spend the most time with. This can be work colleagues, friends, business associates or whoever. Give them a mark each out of 10 for each of the points below.


  • Important in your career/business. Score ( )

  • Knowledge and skills you can learn from or use. Score ( )

  • Have a good network they can introduce you to. Score ( )

Total score ( )


  • Always positive, can do and uplifting, giving energy not sucking it. Score ( )

  • Generous, caring, loyal, listener, empathetic. Score ( )

  • Fun, cool, entertaining, charming. Score ( )

Total score ( )

Now you have scores on helpfulness and attitudes/attributes plot them in the table below. A low score will be less than fifteen.

Who Are You Spending Time With

  • High helpfulness/low attitude - Put up, shut up! - It's easy to moan about these types of people because they can be difficult to be around, but they are useful to you so why waste time moaning. Instead, think about ways you can be more grateful and improve the relationship.

  • Low helpfulness/high attitude - Enjoy! - Don't feel guilty about spending time with these people, they make you feel good, so see them often and give them 100% of your attention when you are with them they deserve it.

  • High helpfulness/high attitude - Value! - If you have one or more of these in your 10 you are really lucky; value them, say thank you, you can't afford to lose them!

  • Low helpfulness/low attitude - Really? Why? - Do I need to say anything?

What does this tell you? Are you spending your time with the right people? What changes will you make? It can be really hard to make decisions about real people, yet life is short and if you spend time with people who are of no value and make you feel bad you will have less time to spend time with people you love or the ones who inspire you.

I also found that it made me grateful for some of the people who might not be easy or even likeable, but who really help me so it also a positive exercise.

Until next time ...


Would you like to know more?

My new book contains a 30-day master class full of exercises and tips like this, so watch this space, and I will soon have more details of the publication date. If you'd like to learn more, call on 01908 511 062 or leave a comment below and let's see how I can help you.

Leave a comment ...

Share the blog love ...

Google AMP  /  Précis  

Share this to FacebookShare this to TwitterShare this to LinkedInShare this to PinterestShare this via Buffer

#SME #Training #UK

About Debra Stevens ...


I'm the founder of DTS, which was established in 1996. A highly successful experiential training company specialising in facilitating behavioural change in all aspects of dealings with people, whether in customer service, sales, management or with colleagues and teammates.

I've managed large contracts such as Pearson Education, Coca Cola, Penguin Books, Accenture, and Santander for over 21 years and have built up excellent relationships with key sponsors of all aspects of the businesses.

I'm a successful trainer, writer and speaker with nearly 30 years' experience of training people at all levels.


01908 511 062